Family Integrated Church

“Family integrated church.”  I heard this phrase for the first time this afternoon.  What is a family integrated church?  It is a fresh and rising movement among families who, desiring to accept greater responsibility for the discipleship of their children, have chosen to attend churches that refuse to segregate the family unit in its worshipping life.  In other words, they don’t do children’s church.  Rather, during worship service, they, wait for it…actually worship together as one body!  Can you image such a thing?  If you lived during the 50’s you might.  In reality, as far as I can tell, families have been worshipping together since the inception of the church.  

It seems there is something about the mess of inter-generational worship (worship where all generations are present) from which many seen to repel.  Perhaps its our own narcissism, desiring to never be placed in a situation where we could be embarrassed.  After all, nothing turns one’s face a brighter shade of red and his/her child yowling loud enough for Gabriel to hear.  Perhaps its our self-centeredness that has clouded our perspective.  We come to hear, to learn, and to grow.  These children, with all of there noise and movement make it impossible to concentrate.  In response, we may be inspired to dress our unrest in the benevolent thought that “the children would learn so much more if they had a class all to themselves, down stairs, in a soundproof room, with a door, and a lock, and a smiling good natured woman with a measure of grace that would make mother Teresa look like a rough neck sailer.  

However, if your willing to give it a shot, there is something wondrous about the mess, noise, and unpredictability of families together in worship.  One of my favorite memories growing up was the scene of my father, who couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket, singing in church.  It was not the slightly off tune melody that I recall, but the picture of his submission to God, his worship that left an indelible imprint on my life.  Worship is not simply an individual experience, its a communal experience, and more poignantly, a familial experience. 

A growing trend over the past years has been the declining number of college-aged attendees in church.  I have often wondered if the explanation for this decline could not be tracked to their segregation from the regular worship of the church, when they were children.  When they became teenagers, we created a teen worship service just for them, complete with drums, guitars, and foggers.  After all, who really wants to go to the boring adult church?  And by the way, if you misbehave, we will send you to the adult worship as punishment.  Is it any wonder they are not in church today, its boring and punishment, at least that’s what they remember us telling them.  

As a response, we have now created entire congregations aimed at the 18 - 35 year old demographic.  In many ways, it seems that we have created an adult version of 1990’s youth group, complete with drums, guitars, stage diving, bright lights, and foggers.  It seems to be working, the millennials are being reached.  Yet, with cautious speculation I wonder if we have not simply kicked the can of generational segregation further down the road.  

Then a voice cries out, “I don’t want a worship setting where my needs are met”.  “I want a place where I can be free to meet the needs of others.”  “I want to be part of a movement where families, representing all races, generations, and levels of spiritual growth join together and learn to sing in harmony, looking to meeting each other’s needs.”  Isn’t that what really marks true Christian worship, self-giving, others-oriented love?  When did we get to be such professionals?  A family integrated church.  What a thought, my heart feels strangely warmed.